Information is gold and you’re either rich or poor

I did things that I’m not proud of. I have reasons why but I’m still responsible for what I did. I think that’s why my cousin doing something so vile like putting mud on herself and claiming that she was attacked by a black man shouldn’t be excused but she’s allowed to change. It’s like when an old tweet or something is uncovered, it’s totally okay to have opinions on it but it’s not okay to judge a person. He or she doing it doesn’t make he or she a bad person, he or she just made a bad decision.

I had friends, family and boyfriends not talk to me about stuff that I really needed to hear. The weirdest theme of my life is that those closest to me just don’t talk to me about important things that could or could not result in personal growth. I had a roommate that had no problem complaining about me to her parents and all the people we mutually knew (like ex employees of mine) but never once talked to me about her frustrations with me. How am I supposed to grow if I’m not talked to? If I’m just gossiped about? Is that helpful to anyone? My bad behavior shielded other bad actors’ actions.

 I just don’t get lying and it’s happened to me both professionally and personally. I think that because I was awful it was a lot easier to lie about me. I was totally flummoxed by the entirety of the Trump administration (especially SharpieGate) and I’m stunned that George Santos is actually a member of Congress. Lying is bad and I truly don’t understand why it’s done. The Sharpie on a weather map is and was ridiculous. To go on tv, seriously, with that “map” was so stupid.

It was sad for me to truly understand that people lied all the time. I’m sure there are many moments that politically led us here. The one that I’ve identified as most responsible was when Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face. We all just collectively let it go. It was somehow not a big deal that the Vice President of The United States seriously shot someone by accident, during a hunting trip, in the face with buckshot. I think it’s a very big deal.