Vilified Symptoms

 It’s strange to take responsibility for my behavior when most of it was my brain tumor. I was having symptoms and those symptoms were vilified. I don’t have an issue with owning it. I think I’m most upset about that. I really needed help because I was so sick, like I could have died sick, and that was not recognized by anyone. I even lived with a person that was either a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I even majored in psychology. I took neuropsychology and nobody noticed. I slipped through the cracks and I almost died. I take responsibility for myself but I’m done with apologizing for it. It happened and now we can all move forward. 

It’s difficult for me to hear stories about myself and I can easily identify a symptom instead that was perceived as a personality trait. I lived with brain cancer for a long ass time. I’ve recently been obsessed with the idea of sickness being a reason and not an excuse. I voted for Fetterman and I think that he’s a disaster. He had a major stroke. He’s a different politician than he was before. His stroke is a reason for his votes and not an excuse for them. My brain tumor is a reason and not an excuse for my behavior. I’m not going to dismiss another’s feelings about the effect I had but I’m not going to dismiss my experience either.