Spatial Awareness

 It’s strange to have acquired spatial awareness for my able body and have to develop an entirely new one for my disabled body. I’m currently working on maneuvering my power wheelchair. I’ve been using a transport wheelchair to get around the house. My power wheelchair has feet rests so trying to account for them has been difficult. I don’t know what it is but there is a disconnect in my brain that means slower processing between stimulus and reaction. I cause a lot of structural damage because accessibility isn’t a priority to the folks that own the apartment complex that I live in and pay for. Tell me how it makes sense that I entirely lose my deposit because the apartment isn’t accessible. How is that fair?

 I’m not allowed to drive anymore and I’m not upset about it at all. Driving would be so dangerous to me and the other people on the road. My reaction time isn’t fast enough which is why it has been interesting driving/steering this power wheelchair. For months it was on the fastest setting and I had no idea. I just knew that it felt dangerous. The day before my transport wheelchair locked up on me, my mother found the adjustable speed setting. So stupid. Wheelchairs need to be maintained as well. It’s not a “one and done” situation.

I had my mother go to my old rehab to find out what they do when one of their many wheelchairs need maintenance. It’s not really practical to bring their wheelchairs to a shop or a specific location to fix wheelchairs. The lady was so nice and knew exactly the part I needed. Finding the part was not easy however. I needed a bearing for my wheel and because it was a wheelchair nobody wanted to touch it. In the end my mother was carrying around the tools and was just begging people to remove the busted part. It was in a tough to access location. How is it fair that I have to go to a wheelchair shop when I’m basically putting more wiper fluid in “my car?” It’s not. What the hell? This is crazy and so extra. Wheelchair maintenance isn’t a big deal and shouldn’t be an event.

I fell like a month ago and I figured out why I fell. I use different hand placements for getting in and out of bed. When I was transferring out of I started thinking about something else and muscle memory kicked in but for the wrong hand placement and I fell hard. I mean what can you do about that? It’s wild to have muscle memory for a body that doesn’t exist anymore.