Ataxia

 I shake a lot and always at weird times. Nothing scarier than getting head shakes while getting a haircut. One time I bitch slapped a piece of cake by accident! I tried to clean it up but it was so good/entertaining. I don’t even remember what I was trying to do. 

When I want something I shake more or harder. It’s super frustrating when I want something so bad and I’m too shaky to get it. I looked for a pill and one exists but it isn’t a long-term solution so that was out. I just had to learn to deal with it. That was incredibly annoying. 

Not only do I have ataxia, I also have experienced a lack of coordination. I knock things over all the time. I can’t help it and it happens randomly. To counter that reality, I move slowly. I can’t do intentional slash delicate things with my hands. 

I also struggle with walking with a rollater. My lack of coordination is a problem while walking. My foot placement can potentially go in the wrong place every time I take a step. There’s so much to think about while walking. I have to make sure that my toes are facing forward, I have to make sure that I’m not taking large steps, I have to make sure that my shoulders are down and I have to make sure that my feet are really going in the right place. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of my wheelchair but I won’t need to rely on it so heavily in some type of future. I wish that I could walk without any help but alas. I can’t see my future, I’m focused on the immediate.