Difficult but Necessary

 I’ve been thinking a lot about race. You’d think that a biracial girl in an entirely white family, growing up on Long Island would be talked to about race but I wasn’t. I really don’t like Long Island. Today I heard on NPR that a white family not talking about racism is a privilege because it (race) doesn’t effect you. I completely agree with that. I would like to shut up about race but I can’t. The reality is that it effects absolutely everything.

When I was younger I said I was white and black. There was this boy in my class (I think it was kindergarten) that said if you’re black and white, you’re like a black and white cookie where half of you would be black and the other half of you would be white. That was as deep as it went in terms of a race conversation with my mom and yet I learned African Dancing and about Kwanza (?). That’s not even African American culture. It’s just straight up African. I’m angry that I wasn’t talked to.

I didn’t learn about race motivated police brutality. I shudder to know how dangerous it actually was and is to be pulled over by a white police person. I never had “the talk.” I really wasn’t given any information about what it is to be a black person in this country. It’s tough out here and you have no idea how difficult it is. You need to be prepared to deal with racism because it always comes out. It’s in all the systems.