The little things…

 I celebrate what are small things in reality (in able body land) but are huge things for me. I recently clapped for the first time in over 5 years. I walked while holding one person’s hand. I successfully threw something. I opened jars of salsa and jelly. These moments don’t come often but they’re great (if) when they happen.

I’ve also been doing a ton of puzzles and because of this, I’ve gotten steadier. My hands are actually steadier. I have stacks and stacks of puzzles. I recently gave some away. I have the ability to look at a piece and know what puzzle it goes to.

My ability to identify puzzles from a single piece is remarkable especially considering that I often forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it. It’s so weird but I totally forgot what I was doing when I was going to text a friend. The phone was open in my hand and I just forgot what I was doing. I have an excellent memory so not being able to remember what I’m saying mid sentence is disturbing. I had a brain tumor so I’m allowed to forget. That doesn’t change how disturbing it is. I think I’m okay if I’m only thinking of one thing but you can forget about multi tasking.

The hardest thing to accept is that things are crazy different. My memory problems are a result of brain surgery. Sometimes I can’t find the right word. Sometimes I forget and other times words for objects don’t exist. It’s even more frustrating when words don’t exist. For example, what do you call the lever you pull on to plug the sink? Mine recently broke and I had to describe it to my mother. I have speech issues so no words to describe an object is devastating.